The question that you want answered the most in the beginning stages of a relationship: how much does he really care about me? While there are several ways to figure out if he loves you or not, we’re going to fill you in on signs you need to pay attention to in the bedroom that can help you figure out where you stand. Are you “the one” or are you just someone? Here are 7 signs he doesn’t really love you.
1. He’s a selfish lover.
He doesn’t give you as much time or pleasure as he gives himself. Sex is about him being satisfied; he doesn’t focus on your needs as much as you want him to. If he doesn’t make the effort to give you equal pleasure, it means he doesn’t care enough to bother.
2. He doesn’t engage in post-sex affection.
If a guy really loves you he’ll want to keep you close. If he seems emotionally distant or doesn’t ever really cuddle with you after sex, he’s not as into you as you think. Remember, the sexual experience includes pre-sex and post-sex, not just when you’re doing the do.
3. He objectifies you in bed when you don’t want him to.
There are some people out there who like to be dominated and objectified in bed. This is because it’s totally opposite to how they operate in real life. (Hey, we all have our fetishes!) But if you get the sense that he’s treating you like a generic person and not a unique, special woman, that’s a sign he doesn’t really love you. Even when you engage in dom-sub sex or some BDSM, you should feel some sort of mutual bond.
4. He doesn’t whisper sweet nothings.
A guy who truly loves you will talk to you during sex. He’ll tell you how much he loves you and show his emotional side just as much as his physical side. If your guy doesn’t do any of that and exclusively does dirty talk, keep an eye out.
5. He keeps pushing you.
A man who loves you will accept the phrases “Not yet” or “Not right now.” If your guy keeps pushing you outside of your comfort zone and doesn’t let up about it, it demonstrates his lack of care and respect for you. He just wants what he wants, end of story.
6. You’re not emotionally satisfied.
A lot of people mistake physical satisfaction with emotional satisfaction. It’s a natural mistake to make, but sooner or later you have to pick up on the difference between the two. The sex may be amazing, but if you realize that your relationship consists more of physical attraction than emotional care and understanding, it’s not worth your time.
7. He really sees you.
He notices things about you that others don’t (maybe he even sees things that you don’t!) He notices how you interact with others, how people feel in your presence, how your mind works, how you process emotions, how you express yourself. He pays attention to all the little details and he remembers them. He appreciates the full scope of who you are, the good and the bad.
8. There’s no progress.
Couples in love naturally progress and evolve with each other over time, both sexually and emotionally. If you’ve been with the same person for a little while now and you feel like the sex has reached its height and you’ve become emotionally stagnant, it’s a sign that your relationship isn’t as great as you thought it was. Couples that are meant to be together always find new things to love about each other, even though they may experience ruts from time to time.